How do I find balance between wanting more and enjoying everything that’s present?
Wanting more love, yet not fully grasping and receiving the love that’s already available.
Wanting more money, yet not fully appreciating and enjoying the money that’s already present.
And wanting more pleasure, yet not fully tapping into the pleasure that’s already mine and free to enjoy.
Something that’s been dying in me lately is the hunt for more. And I’m softening into enough. I don’t need to hoard love, money, pleasure or freedom. I just want enough. It’s not settling. It’s setting myself free. Free from societies constant push to make me feel like I don’t have enough and should want more. And though I both love and have surrendered to the way my feminine will always want more. I see now that my focus needs to be on practicing always seeing that there’s enough. I have practiced the chase for years. And I’m good at it. It’s time to practice being and receiving everything that’s already here. Everything that’s already enough. And while my mind is trying to convince me that it’ll ruin everything I’ve worked for, my heart knows that it’s the only way forward.
Thank you for this space and inviting us to both ask and answer - loved the challenge and look forward to hearing you add to it.
Right now, I feel like all my foundations are shaking. The main theme is: How do I know if I should try to keep it alive, be patient until it settles again , or if it’s time to move on & let it die.
I know it all comes down to trusting myself to make decisions that feel right in my body. But there is so much clouding my judgement. I’m always in my head. It’s easy to make decisions to start something and follow your authority on that, but I’ve found it so difficult to trust my (emotional) authority on when things should end. As an MG, I know there is room for many things. Sometimes these things light me up, and then the next week they don’t at all. This goes for my job, relationships, food, books, ideas. I feel like I’m always changing how I feel about things, there is no stable foundation, no routine, no consistency.
I know I have not been feeling so stable and safe in my routines & daily life because my business is just not supporting me financially in the way I want. But I just don’t want to quit & am waiting and waiting for my ‘success’.
These are deep questions! I had a foundation with walls Jas! 😂 the more I ponder the more crumbling that happens and now I’m back to basics…I have a foundation ready to be built upon.
The more I ponder the more I can feel my godly self, yet I still find myself playing tug of war with beliefs of inadequacy. This past week I found myself playing the victim. I’m currently letting go of expectations and belief systems that make me feel I need to be better to deserve all that I want. I’m learning play. I’m learning to respond to all that intrigues me and explore all that I’m inquiring with no limits to inquiry and exploration.
Perhaps that’s why I’m so attracted to all that you share. Jas you’re like a 3D machine, you think and it’s printed. That’s what I want for myself.
I’ve also been pondering, if I am God, why must it take so long to remember? Why a journey of remembrance? It’s taken me 10+ years of self-inquiry to understand that I am God, but I’m not fully embodying that. Some days are easier than others and I understand it is through self-inquiry and exploration that I embody God within me, but on days where it gets rough I wonder 💭 why take me on this journey of remembrance?
Why was I created with all that I need to play and experience pleasure yet also created with other emotions and experiences that play tug of war with my experiences of play and pleasure?
Now it sounds like I’m playing victim again, doesn’t it? I’m definitely not a victim. I can’t deny that it is through the trials and tribulations that I’ve been able to grow from. My experiences in this life have brought me to self-inquiry. Life is as beautiful as you see it. There is more of me that understands the journey of remembrance and fully accept it, and there’s still a part of me that’s curious as to why the journey is so long. I definitely need to do my own inquiry around this, but I’m curious what your thoughts are.
The systems dying out in my life are long standing belief systems surrounding work/rest, what I deserve versus the effort I have put in, how hard I have to push myself to achieve things, and how much it hurts to get it versus how much I will enjoy it when it arrives. And I realize our society is so masochistic 😂
What I am sowing is ease. I realize I actually like hard work, but that doesn’t mean I have to like all work. I’m allowed to be swept away by what lights me up. We touched on this previously about how it doesn’t have to hurt to enjoy the receiving and I’m feeling that deeply. I’m sowing joy. I’m sowing connection. I’m sowing for a greater good. These are systems I want to see expressed around me.
I once deemed achievements and status valuable, now I realize that I truly want financial freedom in order to do the work I want to do, not the work that our fucked up society deems necessary to keep the economic wheel turning.
My asks are traveling (around our planet Earth, between dimensions, time-space). Connecting with diverse communities/cultures. Share stories. Deeply expressed love. To live in complete synarchy within my relationships, where we surrender to each other. Relationships that are tender, deep, intoxicating and peaceful full of humor, big joy, wisdom and steadiness. To take full advantage of the experience of having a body. I have lived with high functioning depression most of my life and if I am here, if I haven’t died yet, it’s for me to be fully expressed. If the desire was set aflame in my soul, it’s because I am meant to have it/experience it. In a conversation today with my 16 y/o son, we got to the root of our desires. He feels necessary to make a lot of money so I asked him why, what does he want to do with that money? He responded that what he truly wants is friendship and freedom to do things he likes, and feels like he needs a lot of money to accomplish this. But really we just need to get to the very roots of our desires.
How do I find balance between wanting more and enjoying everything that’s present?
Wanting more love, yet not fully grasping and receiving the love that’s already available.
Wanting more money, yet not fully appreciating and enjoying the money that’s already present.
And wanting more pleasure, yet not fully tapping into the pleasure that’s already mine and free to enjoy.
Something that’s been dying in me lately is the hunt for more. And I’m softening into enough. I don’t need to hoard love, money, pleasure or freedom. I just want enough. It’s not settling. It’s setting myself free. Free from societies constant push to make me feel like I don’t have enough and should want more. And though I both love and have surrendered to the way my feminine will always want more. I see now that my focus needs to be on practicing always seeing that there’s enough. I have practiced the chase for years. And I’m good at it. It’s time to practice being and receiving everything that’s already here. Everything that’s already enough. And while my mind is trying to convince me that it’ll ruin everything I’ve worked for, my heart knows that it’s the only way forward.
Thank you for this space and inviting us to both ask and answer - loved the challenge and look forward to hearing you add to it.
Right now, I feel like all my foundations are shaking. The main theme is: How do I know if I should try to keep it alive, be patient until it settles again , or if it’s time to move on & let it die.
I know it all comes down to trusting myself to make decisions that feel right in my body. But there is so much clouding my judgement. I’m always in my head. It’s easy to make decisions to start something and follow your authority on that, but I’ve found it so difficult to trust my (emotional) authority on when things should end. As an MG, I know there is room for many things. Sometimes these things light me up, and then the next week they don’t at all. This goes for my job, relationships, food, books, ideas. I feel like I’m always changing how I feel about things, there is no stable foundation, no routine, no consistency.
I know I have not been feeling so stable and safe in my routines & daily life because my business is just not supporting me financially in the way I want. But I just don’t want to quit & am waiting and waiting for my ‘success’.
I would love to hear your insights 🤍
These are deep questions! I had a foundation with walls Jas! 😂 the more I ponder the more crumbling that happens and now I’m back to basics…I have a foundation ready to be built upon.
The more I ponder the more I can feel my godly self, yet I still find myself playing tug of war with beliefs of inadequacy. This past week I found myself playing the victim. I’m currently letting go of expectations and belief systems that make me feel I need to be better to deserve all that I want. I’m learning play. I’m learning to respond to all that intrigues me and explore all that I’m inquiring with no limits to inquiry and exploration.
Perhaps that’s why I’m so attracted to all that you share. Jas you’re like a 3D machine, you think and it’s printed. That’s what I want for myself.
I’ve also been pondering, if I am God, why must it take so long to remember? Why a journey of remembrance? It’s taken me 10+ years of self-inquiry to understand that I am God, but I’m not fully embodying that. Some days are easier than others and I understand it is through self-inquiry and exploration that I embody God within me, but on days where it gets rough I wonder 💭 why take me on this journey of remembrance?
Why was I created with all that I need to play and experience pleasure yet also created with other emotions and experiences that play tug of war with my experiences of play and pleasure?
Now it sounds like I’m playing victim again, doesn’t it? I’m definitely not a victim. I can’t deny that it is through the trials and tribulations that I’ve been able to grow from. My experiences in this life have brought me to self-inquiry. Life is as beautiful as you see it. There is more of me that understands the journey of remembrance and fully accept it, and there’s still a part of me that’s curious as to why the journey is so long. I definitely need to do my own inquiry around this, but I’m curious what your thoughts are.
The systems dying out in my life are long standing belief systems surrounding work/rest, what I deserve versus the effort I have put in, how hard I have to push myself to achieve things, and how much it hurts to get it versus how much I will enjoy it when it arrives. And I realize our society is so masochistic 😂
What I am sowing is ease. I realize I actually like hard work, but that doesn’t mean I have to like all work. I’m allowed to be swept away by what lights me up. We touched on this previously about how it doesn’t have to hurt to enjoy the receiving and I’m feeling that deeply. I’m sowing joy. I’m sowing connection. I’m sowing for a greater good. These are systems I want to see expressed around me.
I once deemed achievements and status valuable, now I realize that I truly want financial freedom in order to do the work I want to do, not the work that our fucked up society deems necessary to keep the economic wheel turning.
My asks are traveling (around our planet Earth, between dimensions, time-space). Connecting with diverse communities/cultures. Share stories. Deeply expressed love. To live in complete synarchy within my relationships, where we surrender to each other. Relationships that are tender, deep, intoxicating and peaceful full of humor, big joy, wisdom and steadiness. To take full advantage of the experience of having a body. I have lived with high functioning depression most of my life and if I am here, if I haven’t died yet, it’s for me to be fully expressed. If the desire was set aflame in my soul, it’s because I am meant to have it/experience it. In a conversation today with my 16 y/o son, we got to the root of our desires. He feels necessary to make a lot of money so I asked him why, what does he want to do with that money? He responded that what he truly wants is friendship and freedom to do things he likes, and feels like he needs a lot of money to accomplish this. But really we just need to get to the very roots of our desires.